Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Feeling a bit lost

I teach English lessons to business people. My week is pretty much mapped out and I usually have the same routine on certain days. Often for years and years.

And then it changes and I feel lost.

It's Wednesday. Wednesday has been my Daimler in Düsseldorf day for the last 7 years. I even had some of the same students over that period of time. This may not sound a lot of routine for some, but for me, this is a LIFETIME!
The journey was long and tiring - two hours in each direction. To begin with I went there for 4 two-hour lessons taking my day from 6am to 6pm with travel. This got easier and easier over time and recently it got even better when the 8am class stopped, meaning I only needed to leave the house at 8am. Sometimes, the journey was terrible if the weather was bad or cold or miserable or if the trains played up and let me down. But I always knew that at the end of the journey, I would be met by lovely, wonderful people who were friendly and welcoming and good fun. Some of these students became real friends and I love that!

Well, these classes were brought to an abrupt halt two weeks ago. I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to these lovely people in person - email can be so impersonal.

I can't say that I am not enjoying the chance to get up later in the morning or some time at home while I look for more work to fill the day, but somehow the routine is missing. My Wednesday was always hard work and tiring and I knew that once that was over, the end of the week was coming. Now I feel a bit cheated! I had such an easy day today - a late start to the day, a single class just down the road and then the chance to do a scrapbooking assignment for a magazine. I am sure for many, this would be heaven. I certainly live a somewhat easy life these days. But I miss the classes all the way over there in Düsseldorf. And I miss my friends there.

These are the sights that have greeted me morning and evening every (or almost every) Wednesday for the last 7 years. They may not look very special but it's amazing how attached you can get to the familiar. I enjoyed looking down at the railway tracks to see all the Sprinter vans getting ready to go off around Europe ...

or looking down to the lines and lines of vans waiting to be finished by custom fittings or company livery...
and even though we have many of these Smart towers all over Germany, this one greeted me from the train window each week (and was next to McDonald's which provided me with hot coffee most mornings and a cold drink or a McFlurry very often in the summer!).

Soon, my Wednesday will have a new routine and this will just be in the past, but for now, the silly little things are just missing!


  1. Oh, Lisa. You must feel bereft - that may sound over the top, but it's not. All I can say (although it may not seem it at the moment)is that things happen for a reason, we may not know what that reason is, but it will sort out. One day you will look back and understand - but there will be days before that when you just want that day to come!!! Believe me, I know. I can't wait for the day when I can look back and understand what's happening at the moment.
    Take care x

  2. Anonymous10:00 pm

    life has a habit of throwing unexpected s**t at us. doesn't it? just roll with it. maybe this means you might get a bit more time in bed. like you need it lol. 2009 for me has really shown me how life changes. you tick along with a life, and then something huge, or not huge, happens and life will never be the same again. weird. i wish i had the answers. (god i sound like i did 6 months ago in my mid-life crisis!) :)


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